I will never forget the moment my mother tested my teenage self in giving my honest opinion. She came out of her room in a ridiculous shoe choice for the outfit she was in and with a perfectly serious face asked if it looked okay. I didn’t want her to feel bad so I said, ‘Yeah, it’s good.’
She burst out laughing and declared she would never trust my opinion again. She thought it funny, but you know what? I have remembered the dishonesty of that moment for the rest of my life. It was a pivotal point in my walk with Christ to realize that in all my relationships I was often being dishonest. Lying. Not wanting people to feel bad I’d smooth over rough spots to not draw attention to the awkwardness of bad shoe choices… or worse, sinful life choices… and they were all doing the same for me!
You’re best friends are NOT the ones that affirm you and keep telling you you’re so smart & beautiful no matter what your life looks like. You’re best friends are the ones that call a spade a spade when it comes to your shoes & your sin.
The people in my life that called me out for what I did or said and stuck around for me to learn from it are the ones that I trust when I ask their opinion. I know they are pursuing truth, not the petting of my emotions.
“Faithful are the wounds of a friend;
profuse are the kisses of an enemy.” Proverbs 27:6
~Shannon
Valley Women's Encouragement Conference 
I remember one of the times I was honest with a friend about their sin. It didn’t go well – but I remember thinking that I had not said anything out of turn- it was the truth and I loved her enough to tell her. I used that same verse from Proverbs and she came back at me saying that I was no friend of hers! 😳 I will say this tho- I have had way more (real) friends take my honesty very well and accepted it with grace. Sometimes we don’t have friends that are in the relationship for realz. 😔
It actually offends me more when a friend isn’t honest with me about hurting them or when I have wronged them. It speaks loudly that they are either trying to people please or don’t care enough about me to be genuinely honest with me. To not let anything fester but to bring it to light.
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It’s true. Honesty brings true friends to the surface! Sorry for your difficult times with this. It’s hard for us all as we grow in this area, eh?! 🥴
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